I receive from time to time critics from clients meaning that the target text isn’t close enough to the source text. It is indeed rather hard to determine how much latitude translators have in rephrasing a sentence. In the last few months, I started selecting segments of my own translations which I consider could be offering grounds to criticism. Here a first suggestion to consider :
The structure of the sentence is completely different from the original. Is this translation going too far from the target text? Would you accept this translation as a proofreader? Why or why not?